Monday, June 20, 2011

PITA

Sorry I've been away----I took some time off to wrap up the end of the school year and to psych myself up for some oral surgery I was dreading. It turned out to be practically a breeze---the only painkiller I needed to take afterwards was the low-dose aspirin I take every night for my heart. Then a couple of days later I hurt myself. Badly.

Remember that old song we learned as kids---"Dem Bones"?

"With the hip bone connected
to the back bone,
and the back bone connected
to the neck bone,
and the neck bone connected
to the head bone...blah blah blah"

It's a lie. A big fat lie.

Every single part of your body is connected to one thing. Your ass bone.

I mean it. And I know this for a fact, because yes, I hurt my ass.

Not going to get into the nitty gritty of what and how, but for the record, no, it wasn't hemorrhoids, and no, I didn't fall while hanging curtains nekkid and land on a potato that just HAPPENED to be sitting there (the excuse some guy told an ER when they had to pry a potato out of his rectum---no kidding!). If you were thinking that, well shame on you!

That said, when you hurt your heinie it is excruciating to:

Bend over
Sit down
Lay down
Get up
Sit for any length of time
Stand still
Walk
Take the stairs
Sneeze
Cough
Fart
Use the facilities
Reach behind you to scratch your back
Reach your hands up to brush your hair on the back of your head

The only time it DOESN'T hurt is when I'm laying in a hot bathtub of water with my knees up to take the pressure off that area (every part of my body is all pruny from doing that 6-8 times a day---except for my knees, that is), or when I'm laying in bed in ONE position with a heating pad.

But then again, it hurts like the dickens to get in and out of the tub and bed, so it almost makes it not worth it. Almost.

Extra-strength Advil wasn't cutting the pain even slightly, so a couple of days ago I broke down and accepted some Vicodin hubby had left over from when he got his wisdom teeth out last year.

Ahhhh, a tiny bit of relief! I don't like walking into walls, though.

So I'm going to take a few more days off to let this pain in my ass heal. Then Big Kid will take over from there. LOL

Be good! Use sunscreen!

ATM

11 comments:

Rootietoot said...

Oh bless you! I broke my tailbone many years ago, and I get what you're saying! Please be careful and heal up! And no more downhill roller-blading, ok?

debra said...

I broke my tailbone birthing my first child. Painful!!!! Here's hoping for better days.

KL said...

You know we are all hoping and wishing for some speedy healing!!!

Jeanie said...

I belong to the broken tailbone club too (3 times), so I am definitely full of sympathy for you. Take care, don't sneeze and let someone else put the sunscreen on your back.

Katie :o) said...

Oh! Feel better! Had a fissure in that area a few years ago... and to add insult to excruciating pain, you can't just pipe up in a casual conversation about what is bothering you... Take care!

Webster said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting, ATM. You feel better soon.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Ooof, that is a "core" area, really is "behind" much of our daily activity. Here's hoping your PITA heals up fast!

catscratch said...

Ok, I had to go back and re-read the whole thing again... I got side tracked by pototo in the butt... Oh. My. Lord. Not a nice visual.

I hope your bum gets some relief soon. Been there, it's a pain in the arse.

Valerie Marie said...

Dear ATM! I'm so sorry! Get well! Kisses & hugs

Charlie said...

Dear Mom,

I'm really, really, really sorry you broke your ass because of my stupid potato. I was playing Mr. Potato Head with him, and when I put his feet on he ran away. I looked all over for him, but I gave up and figured I'd find him when he really started to smell rotten. Unfortunately, you found him first with your butt.

I know you hurt really bad, so get well soon. The living room window looks like crap with the drapes half up, half down, and all crooked. I'm afraid the neighbors will start to think you drink.

If you ever let me out of this closet I PROMISE not to leave my toys lying around.

My love,

Professor B. Worm

MINIMAL STYLE said...

Horryble!