Ladies, I Need Some Help!

Sorry I haven't written or checked your blogs out lately, but things have been hairy around the Attila House. I've just had too much damn anxiety to write anything. Will share soon.

But I have some funny/good/precious news. And I need your help.

I've talked a lot about my mom in my blog over the years, and my struggles with our relationship especially when I searched and found my birth family (I'm adopted). I even shared the sorrow when my step-dad passed away a few years ago.

I've shared her struggles as a newly single gal, how she dumped a bunch of old guys because they just wanted to get married and have someone take care of them.

She was done "taking care of sick old men". And she had a checklist for the men she was going to date:

1) He had to be able to drive
2) He didn't want to get married (she was married 24 years to my dad and 24 years to my step-dad and was done with being married)
3) He had to be in reasonably good health

Also told you guys about this older beau she's had for a couple of years. She's 78, he's just turned 88. For the first time, she's the trophy hoochie. LOL

Anyhoo, he's a gem. A real sweetie. They're both really active and go to plays, concerts, senior events and seminars. He's taken her to Vermont to see the leaves change, to New Mexico for the Hot Air Balloon Festival. When my son was in the ICU, he drove her down (2-hour drive) frequently to sit vigil with me.

The year before last at Easter, I wrote about how the families got together for a meal and to meet each other for the first time. His adult children, her adult children (except for me) went out to a restaurant. They sat at opposite sides of the table, like a mafia sit down.

Both sets of "kids" were wary---worried that their elderly parents might be taken advantage of.

Beau's son somewhat superciliously asked my mom to tell him about herself.

She said, "well I've married and buried quite a few men in my time". He was agape. She and beau laughed their asses off.

Then she added, "didn't you have a minister at your wedding?" Snarf. She's a retired United Methodist Minister. I wish I had been there!

Anyhoo, a few days ago, she called me and told me that she and Beau have decided to tie the knot. They'd just been to a lawyer and signed a prenup keeping all their stuff separate. For the last year or so, they'd been going between his house, which is full of crap, and her house, which is full of crap.

They were just worried about what the neighbor's were thinking. On one hand, they could live in sin, but my mom was worried that if something happened to Beau, his kids (who don't actually live close) might not be available if decisions about their dad needed to be made.

Ok, that's her story and she's sticking to it.

So I asked her when the big day was and she said Valentine's Day.

I was stunned. "Why so soon?" I asked.

"We aren't getting any younger. How long should we wait?"

Gah!

Ok, so here's the deal. We had a talk tonite and I asked her what I could do to help. She's running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

Since she isn't having a bridal shower, and she won't let me arrange the bouquet or contribute, I decided that I wanted to buy her a romantic peignoir set or something for her honeymoon. I've seen her jammies. LOL

I can't find anything that isn't crotchless, nippleless, too short, too staid, vinyl, etc etc etc, even when I look at "bridal" stuff. Or boyish stuff. Or hiphugging stuff.

I'm looking for something in blue, aqua, medium pink---pastelly but not white. I mean she's 78, fer pete's sakes. Something somewhat froofy. You know, romantic. It can be mid-length or long.

She wears an XL, and price is not a problem. I'd rather something a little more highend than Kmart polyester, if you know what I mean.

If you guys could help me, I'd love you forever!