Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Suckage of Life

I know I haven't been around much posting or commenting lately, and I feel really bad about it. It seems to be my excuse de jour for the last few months.

The last couple of weeks have been particularly bad. You ever have those days when you just feel so overwhelmed by stuff that it's hard to just get out of bed each day and slog through the crap that makes up your life?

A lot of it for me has been the weather. It's springtime in the Rockies, which is the season when we get the most snow days. All the gray makes me feel gray inside too. I suffered from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) a lot when I was in my teens and early 20's, and I think it's just biting me on the butt right now.

I've had a lot of family stuff going on lately that's been consuming me. Not my hubby and kids but some other stuff that I've had to deal with. My dad died a little over 10 years ago, and I'm ready to close that chapter in my life and move on without a "things that ultimately have to be taken care of" list hanging over my head indefinitely. Mostly involving shared assets that my brothers and I put aside to "deal with later". I decided that it's time to finally deal with them now, since most of those "shared assets" have had to be financially maintained by myself (and hubby), and I'm ready to get out.

We're paying for 2 college educations, I'm getting zero return on some of this stuff as is---if I had set aside the "sentimental attachment" (not mine) and insisted we cash out years earlier, I could have even conservatively invested it in CDs or bonds and gotten some kind of return. But I think 10 years is enough for them to get their sh*t together, and I just want out.

So there's been some hard words exchanged, and it makes me feel very very sad and depressed. Hopefully most of it will be wrapped up in the next couple of weeks or so.


Sorry to be such a bummer.

21 comments:

Cheri said...

I hope you feel better. It sounds like you are on a path with a light at the end of the tunnel.

Mel said...

Don't apologize, Attila. It's understandable that these things get you down. I've been in a funk of my own here recently.

Heather said...

No apology necessary hon.
I'm thinking of you.
BIG HUGS!

mjmoore said...

Sorry to hear things are a bit rough at the moment.

Beth said...

This too shall pass. Hopefully? Soon? Maybe?
Hang in there...
(Love your post title.)

DutchBitch said...

Aww Hon, I am sorry. but you know you needn't ever apologize to any of us. Life is just life and you gotta do what you gotta do. We all have that happen to us at some point...

Beki said...

It really does seem 2008 is starting with a bummer cloud for so many of us! But when the cloud passes, and it will, it will be all the sweeter

**hugs**

litzi said...

Hi Attila,
Hopefully the bruised feelings will thaw like the snow and by late spring or early summer you’ll be on better terms with your brothers. Did you have a premonition this would happen when you eventually settled up your Dad’s estate?

Indulge yourself with a couple of chocolate Easter eggs….

sleeplesswonder said...

Sorry to hear your not "feeling" well. But if it is any comfort your not alone. I have been feeling crappy lately too. Can seem to get out of the funk, It is beautiful here today (which hasn't been in weeks) and I feel horrible because I know I should take my son outside to play but I have no interest in it. I have no interest in anything lately, one reason my blog has been empty as well, don't feel like posting or doing anything else for that matter.
But keep your head up hon it will get better soon (wish I could take my own advice.)

Melissa said...

Lord love you, Attila. I wish you sunny weather to pull you out of your SAD funk. I also hope the other business gets sorted out. Sometimes just letting stuff go lets you breathe a lot easier, and I pray that is the case for you.
You're not a bummer! You're honest, which I'd take over false any day.

Casdok said...

You dont have to aplogise.
Big hugs.

Michele said...

I had a brother who passed away 3 years ago in July. He was the reason I moved to Northern California about 11 years ago, where I ultimately met and married my husband, and birthed my first child. It was a really bad time, and my parents just wanted me gone, to be honest. My mother gave me $100 cash to get me started. When we got on the road, my brother (the one with the home and job, essentially taking his homeless sister with him) asked for half. All of their assets were "half" to him. I told him no, they aren't dead yet. He said fine, and left me to sleep on a paint scaffolding in a warehouse. Brother/Sister relations can be complicated.

marymurtz said...

Your title nailed it on the head, sister. Glad to see you, even if you're overwhelmed and sad. Big hugs to you. I know from experience how sucky it is when you're trying to deal with life and family crap on top of it.

Brenda said...

Don't feel bad, we all have days or weeks or years like that so it's understandable when things get you down.

Angela said...

Hopefully some happy floats your way soon.
Thinking of you

MamaBird said...

Ohhhh, family stuff. Suckage indeed. Hang in there, spring will rescue us. And don't self flagellate over not posting. We're here waiting. That's what our readers are for!

Eileen said...

Seasonal Affective Disorder is brutal, especially around this time of the year. Add to that family crap, and it is no wonder you are feel down. Don't ever apologize! I'm glad you opened up! That is what friends (even blogger friends) are for.
Sending love and light your way.
XOXOXO

Rhonda said...

It seems to be in the air. 2008 has, thus far, been pretty rough on so many people I know.

Hang in there!

Valerie Marie said...

I hope you feel better. Send you love and sunny weather ((ATM)) XOXO

Grim Reality Girl said...

You are doing the right thing to wrap things up. Those who are not on board have their own issues to work on -- do not let them drag you down. This too shall pass and you will be relieved when it is done. Saying a prayer for you...

krishanna said...

Ehhhh...no need for explanations... sometimes life just sucks and it's all we can do to just keep plugging along. BIG HUGS.