Thursday, November 16, 2006

So Much Stupid, So Little Time...

A Russian woman has successfully sued Coca-Cola for making her ill. She claimed that she became addicted to the soda after participating in a bottle-cap promotion which--ahem--compelled her to drink 3 liters a day for 5 years to win prizes.

She now has a chronic condition whose main symptoms are insomnia and heartburn. Doh!

Two Russian courts agreed with her after viewing her evidence---dozens of inflatable mattresses and radios she swapped for bottle caps.

She was awarded about the equivalent of $117. in U.S. currency.


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A German court has ordered a gynecologist to pay 18 years worth of child-support for botching a contraceptive implant.

Since the parents are no longer together, he also has to partially reimburse the father for child-support payments.

How messed up is that?

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Your 15-year-old son calls from school because he's afraid that another student might be planning to attack him.

What would you do?

1). Tell him to go to the school office immediately (a place of safety) and ask to speak to the principal or campus security.
2). Get on the phone to the office, tell them of your concern and request action.
3). Arm yourself, your two daughters and a family friend with a box cutter and a knife, drive down to the school, storm the classroom and assault the 16-year-old student.

Who had seconds of stupid for breakfast?


23 comments:

Kim Ayres said...

I was looking around the Darwin Awards after the recent post on my site about the guy who lit a firework up his own backside, and I've come to realise that I am insane. Any definition of sanity has to be linked to a majority view, and if the world seems like a screwed up place to me, then logically it must be that the world is fine and it's me who's screwed up.

I wonder if I could sue my old philosophy lecturers...

P said...

Totally brilliant. This and also the previous one on law shows. Amazing .. how someone can come up with such an argument .. and more amazing.. how they win!

Sven said...

No doubt these folks are stupid but can any of them rival O.J.?

Attila The Mom said...

Sven, I am just verklempt about that whole entire subject. I think he is insane. eeek

Mr. Fabulous said...

Holy crap! These people...um...

There are no words.

Stinkypaw said...

Where do you get those stories? It's depressing to know that we are surronded by morons!

Trish said...

The fact that there are people so stupid on this planet really scares me...

And the fact that not only does their stupidity get aknowledged but rewarded?. At this rate humankind is on the road to extiction.

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Oh my. Life is stranger than fiction.

Lisa

Annie Drogynous said...

I guessed #3 before reading the story. You made it just too damn obvious, lol!

Anonymous said...

And you would need dozens of inflatable matresses and radios for... what?

Note to self: don't marry rich gynecologist... things might change overnight...

I would say option 3... NO contest...

OneEar said...

My Individualized Life Protocols (ILP) provide that I don't have to take tests.

Heather said...

OMG.
People are seriously fuckin' stupid. I can't believe that last one. Seriously. @@.
xox ♥
have a good weekend~

Anonymous said...

Forrest Gump was right. Stupid is as stupid does! No wonder the Darwin Award people have so many stories to choose from each year

Anonymous said...

Question: how do you tell your child that you sued the doctor because you were born?

Shan said...

I'm not at all convinced the one about the German doctor is so stupid. This is not equivalent to suing someone because your birth control pills fail - he messed up. As in, malpractice.

And his screw up resulted in serious consequences to another person; potential substantial and long-term dangers to her health, a long-term (as in, the rest of her life) financial, legal, and moral responsibility, loss of earning potential, and a lot of choices she didn't want to (and was doing her best not to) have to make then, among others.

This isn't suing a doctor because you have a kid, it's suing the doctor because his mistake had serious repercussions on your life. It has very little to do with the actual kid, really. And I assure you, people get through the day all the time knowing they were not a wanted pregnancy at the time but are very much loved nonetheless.

Attila The Mom said...

Shan---great argument! But I think if she sued for malpractice, she'd get a lump sum that would be taken care of by his insurance.

I certainly don't have a problem with suing someone for malpractice.

But suing them for child-support is suing because you had a kid, IMO. I think I'm with Dorky Dad on this one. How do you explain it to the kid?

Nice to see you here!

Anonymous said...

some people should not be able to perpetuate their genes. this is funny and sad at the same time.

Samantha said...

That's insane. How can people win cases like that?!

Shan said...

Thanks Attila! I hope I'll be around more when school is over.

I think the problem is deciding it wasn't malpractice based on a newspaper article, that is deliberately sensationalizing it. Even here malpractice is not necessarily settled for a lump sum; doctors have been required to pay for the special education required by children with brain damage they acquired during a labor where the doctor made mistakes, for instance.

So I think it depends on how you're looking at suing because someone had a kid. And that would be a pretty intelligent way to structure the disbursement of the malpractice award, to best address the reasons for it I mentioned.

I do tend to give people the benefit of the doubt though. Not that I have any doubt to offer in the other stories...

carmachu said...

I like option number 3 myself in that last one.....But thats just me....You cant say thats not an active parent....

shirley said...

Omigosh, the nutters out there. How do you find all these stories?!

Girl In Her Underwear said...

Ha ha! Oh my gosh! Please tell me this isn't for real! UNbelievable!!!

I'm SO glad you visited my blog and enjoyed it! Yay! Yours is hilarious! I'm going back to read more! Later!

Anonymous said...

In the Coke woman's defence, she could buy a considerable amount of Rolaids with $117, which will then allow her to continue drinking more Coke. It's a perfect circle really.