Ever since last Christmas, I've been having a lot of lower back and hip
problems. I blamed it on fibro, and went to a back clinic for some relief. Like
I wrote before, it really helped a lot. I had some x-rays done, and it turns out
that my sacrum never fused together on the top, so it's like having an extra
vertebrae (which Hubby is enjoying) without a disc to cushion it.
It's not a rare condition, but my tailbone was poking out, and my right hip
was quite a bit higher than it was supposed to be. Also, the disc on the
vertebrae above my sacrum is 80% deteriorated and all squashed up, causing most
of the pain.
Well I got it all fixed up, but somehow a bunch of nerves down there got
damaged, causing some kind of neuropathy (nerve issues).
For the last six months or so, the skin on the top third of my butt feels
like it's sunburned. When I'm tired or stressed out, the muscles from my heinie
straight down to my ankles ache. When I try to sleep, I get electrical "shocks"
in my legs or butt or stabbing pains like somebody is jabbing me with a
sharpened pencil. Itching along the nerve paths can become unbearable. The
worst part is muscle weakness so I don't feel too steady on my feet.
I've been spending the last month having tests done and exploring treatment
options with my doc. I nixed the standard nerve blockers because side effects
include weight gain and swelling (amongst other nasty-sounding things). We
decided to try a migraine medication that isn't normally prescribed for
neuropathy, but acts by blocking nerves without all the other stuff.
Which comes to the great Zostrix experiment, or what I call "death in a
tube".
Zostrix is a very very strong Capsaicin (chili pepper) ointment which is
usually used for arthritis pain and sometimes for neuropathy.
The doc recommended that I try it along the top side of my butt that feels
like it's sunburned.
So I bought this little 20 dollar "tube of death". Hubby read the
instructions which included, "don't use a heating pad on the affected area",
"don't get on your hands, eyes, mucus membranes or injured skin", and "if the
dried ointment flakes off, don't inhale it".
Oh, it also said, "apply 2-4 times daily" and "might burn a little
bit".
Hubby used the applicator pads and spread it across my hips. My skin
sucked it right up, so he couldn't exactly tell where he put it before. He
added some more.
Since I was having sharp jabs to my heinie and my legs hurt, he applied it
there too.
"This tube isn't going to go very far", he said skeptically. The sucker
was a third of the way gone.
I was pretty much ok for the first couple of hours. It burned a bit on the
back of my knees.
Then, the best that I can tell, some of the ointment from my butt flaked
off into my panties and migrated somewhere else.
Somewhere very tender.
...and the screaming began.
I ran into the shower to try to get this stuff off of me.
There's a reason why the directions tell you not to use a heating
pad.
What it doesn't say is DON'T GET IN A HOT SHOWER!!
The dried ointment liquefied and ran down into my crack, where it hit
another tender area. The heat from the water ignited it and I was on fire from
my hips to my ankles and every crevice in between. I spent the next ten minutes
bent over in an ice cold shower trying to ease the burn.
For three hours I alternated between the cold shower and laying in
my bed with my ass in the air facing the fan, shivering, moaning and waiting for
death. The only thing keeping me from going to the emergency room was the
thought of explaining how I got the crotch of fire.
Ok, now it's a little funny. I went back to my doctor to tell him the tale
of my burned biscuit (and butt, and hips and legs), and the poor man turned
purple trying not to laugh. Finally he burst out with "Great balls of fire!"
and practically fell out of his chair.
Turns out you can actually OD on the stuff, as it's supposed to be used
sparingly on an area about the size of your knee.
The only good thing to come out of this is that the skin on my butt feels
almost normal now. I think it burned all the nerves to death. LOL
